FEmales are strong as hell!

"I told you the other shoe was going to drop."
"Oh it dropped, you busted Morpheus."

A few days ago, someone pointed out that Titus was reading "Land Mall" magazine and I am still giggling.

"That man could sell snow to an Eskimo. Or a Pontiac Aztek* to…someone."

'Lil Nerds will be back after this commercial break!

Can you imagine headbanging with Rose's fantastic mane?

"Women, kidnapped, bunker trial. Nope, not the one in the abandoned Bennigans, uh, not that one, or that one. Come on, Florida. Scrolling, scrolling. Indiana! Finally. What is up, society?"

"It's so funny what people who have never been kidnapped think is scary!"

- You know what? Tonight is more than just a party now, Titus.
- That is my favorite sentence ever.

Well, if any train could, it would be the G. It only half exists to begin with.

Jane KILLED that "going upstairs" bit. The added touch of pumping her arms almost brought me to tears.

Wireless?

I'm glad that "Why is your penis on a dead girl's phone?" now has a companion line.

Upvote, because seriously, tip your freaking bathroom attendant.

Jacqueline: I have to catch him red-handed. His hands will be red because -
Kimmy: - that's okay, no thank you.

I can explain. You're in the Matrix.

Do you sometimes watch Carade's friends at Barney's from behind a pillar?

Wait until he finds out how much he can pull by just keeping his work stuff on!

I wanted him to finish the sentence! Hairless with a little bit of what, Brandon? What?

[slowly stirs empty pitcher]