On more than one occasion a friend has said something like “OMG, you’ll never guess what happened,” and I’ve responded “Please, don’t let it be about Tom ...” in my huskiest Crackerjacks voice. So, I feel you.

I cannot wait for the next person to ask me, “How are you doing?”

I love watching them try to constantly excuse her behavior and keep her as lovable “Princess” Rory.

Obviously, you can’t have a show without conflict and you can’t have conflict if every character is going around always making the right decision. That said, Rory was so terrible in this revival. She LEFT Logan. She had such big goals and dreams. What happened? How could she flounder for TEN years? Not only was she…

I just want a spin-off about Emily narrating horribly violent tours about history in Nantucket to children.

Why are all the questions listed as “1.”

What I wouldn’t give for that to be the most believable conspiracy theory of 2017.

Hey friends,

And Ms. DeVos, faced with the choice of resigning or defying the president, has agreed to go along.

When I was 18 years old I had a ton of money saved up from working summers before college. My friends and I decided to do a trip to england on our own money and stay with my family’s friends there.

Some how, in my mind, Hillary has gone from being my political candidate of choice to, like, my mom. I want to be like her, and I will fuck someone up to defend her.

On election day this week, I found out that I got an interview with Boeing for a paid internship this summer. I was elated. It is literally the path to my dream job. I was prepared to get smashingly drunk that night to celebrate getting an interview opportunity and seeing the first woman President. We bought champagne…

Prince!

Me: Bob Dylan

Who wore it better: Me or Rachel McAdams?

When I was between maybe 7-10, the Carol Burnett show was the highlight of my week. At first, she would come out wearing some amazing Mackie dress, and then there would be a sincerely funny show. Bravo Andy, what were thinking? These are two worlds that should never collide, and you somehow diminished one of my all…

Heh, I’m so old, I watched all-new episodes of “The Carol Burnett Show” every Saturday night at 9:00 Central. CBS Saturday night in the 70s was one of the best lineups ever, and she was the jewel in the crown.

Years from now I’m going to think that I dreamt this.

I love that she talked about Eunice, Ed, and Bubba. I would pay money to watch the dramatic reading of the sketch she talked about - she said they once read the script without the over-the-top comedy voices and that it was actually devastating.

When either Carol Burnett or Cher dies I will officially turn in a flood claim because I will soak a pillow with tears. If they die too close together, I will need FMLA. I am not kidding. Down the road it will be Michelle Obama.