Pinstripes at a christening is the ultimate power move. Let’s the baby know who the fucking boss is.

Aren’t they all to the far right?

Yeah that’s due to the spine removal procedure everyone must undergo to appear on Fox News.

It’s just a shame that Mayweather can’t read it.

I didn’t listen to Lumbergh about coming in on the weekend, why would I listen to him about this.

I wonder how many boxes Cruise had to stand on for that shot.

Dana White is to UFC press conferences what Puff Daddy was to Biggie videos.

who wore it better: Modi vs McGregor?

Don King once beat a man to death over a minor amount of money. Dana White spends his time throwing jazz hands at fighters who could easily tear him asunder.

The Pay-Per-View Spit Roast of Dana White

I grew up with Don King. Compared to that this guy is Adam Silver.

His first aid kit includes several Affliction t-shirts and Drowning Pool mp3's

ignore the flesh egg in the background and zoom in on them sweet pinstripes

Dana always looks like a guy who shows up for the threesome but ends up jerking off in the corner as the two girls go at it.

Well he had 14 fumbles in his 135 game career, so those must have been some backbreaking fumbles. His last season he dropped 4 passes. Holy crap. Four!?! Clearly the reason the Lions went 7-9 in 2015 is his 4 drops and 1 fumble. Otherwise they’re an easy 13-3, right?

Is this what you imagined you’d be doing with your day when you got out of bed this morning?

Man, when Fran Tarkenton finds out he’s been thrown out of the HoF because he didn’t win a Super Bowl, he’s gonna be pissed.

On one hand, maybe the Lions decades upon decades of persistent futility and mismanagement in the face of salary caps and parity could all just be a sham and it’s really Megatron’s laziness and shitty play (and Barry Sanders’ before him) that has doomed the Lions. Maybe you’re right.

Fast forward to his Hall of Fame induction ceremony and this angry lil fella will shed a tear and write a Facebook post about how lucky he was to have gotten to watch him play.

Ah yes, it was one of the best receivers in the league’s fault that the Lions are a dumpster fire. Solid take.