in my early forties, I broke up with a perfectly nice man who was not meeting my emotional and sexual needs. he knew this, and stated flatly that he had no intention of changing, yet was shocked - SHOCKED - that I broke up with him, a perfectly nice man.
he actually said to me, incredulously, “you would rather be ALONE…

this made me lol

me too!  diamonds are so not my thing, but this ring is all of my things.

I am such a not-fan of diamonds that my sister in the fine jewelry industry can’t even give me stuff at cost.

I was WAY more freaked-out about middle age at 35 than I am now at 50.

how do we know he’s straight?
*edit* whoops. okay. not only straight, but already procreating at 19.
swell.

then why are you reprinting this nonsense???

I once mentioned I had pantry moths, and was unfriended in droves.

same!  I take great photos of others.  myself not so much.

me too, but I’m the first one to say to my BF or friends or strangers, “hey, lemme get a picture of you in front of that.”
it’s still a sickness, but at least it doesn’t involve my own face.

I’m too old to tell the difference any more.

when referring to Parent Trap, the callow youth in this film called it the “Lindsay Lohan classic.”

dumb pet peeve: when people say “I felt badly.” because you didn’t. you felt bad. feeling badly means you’re unskilled at the art of feeling. it means you’re a sociopath.
so feel bad, good people.

my guy is thoughtful in almost every way possible....except for this.  he’s a lousy texter/checker-inner.  so I do it for both of us.

she always struck me as prettiest-girl-in-homeroom-pretty, and not supermodel-pretty. but what do I know?

and how the royal hell did KATE WINSLET get damed before the fabulous Dame Emma???

yeah I worked with him for a day on one of those promo things that celebs HATE doing but cannot avoid because marketing. he was a total pro, and went above and beyond what was asked. super-gracious to the entire crew, as well.

and Walgreens! Aidan is keeping us fed and healthy. that’s hot.

WHY CAN’T WE HAVE NICE THINGS???

Jesus wept