Man I wish I could take a nap, but it takes me at least half an hour to fall asleep and if I sleep for anything less than 6 hours I wake up tired and totally zombified. So, naps are at best a waste of time and at worst entirely counterproductive for me.

He is listed as probable for this weekend.

Typical millennial. All meme meme meme.

Chicken wing futures just sky-rocketed!

“Asinine? I mean, that’s all well and good, but what about her face?”

Reign of Fire is super underrated.

At what point does it change from night to morning?

What do the Victorians have to do with this?

“We’re not playing worth a darn,” said Suns’ coach Jeff Hornacek as he wiped imaginary sweat from his face.

I think I figured out the name.

Oh, there’s The Panda, creeping girls on Instagram in the Fenway clubhouse bathroom.

go back to boring us with your soccer deadcast takes, you fucking commie

This is a totally reasonable argument. There always has to be a grand villain to keep the wheels spinning and the dollars printing. When you hear things like we are in WWIII against ISIS you have to wonder.

Maybe she wants to live dangerously.

I went with my brother. We got there early, had some bad ass seats. I saw a dude with his date come in late. They were about to split up. My bro and I got up and gave them our seats.....because why not?

I absolutely hate the Patriots, like any sane, non-living-in-Boston-area individual. I can’t stand that smug prick Robert Kraft, and I absolutely abhor Tom Brady, who looks like he should be a Justin Bieber roadie more than an NFL QB.

You can also yell at people to call the sauce “Gravy” if you want to be a spectacular asshole.

Who do you think holds the current record for most girls kissed, and what’s their number?

Isn’t dribbling just a bounce pass to yourself?

This is Major Komarov to ground control,