This has been an installment of "Why Your Column Sucks," by HumboldtBlue.

Also important. Impressive even in failure, but important skill nonetheless.

Surprised no one has pointed out that pitchers don't get anywhere near the amount of batting practice that hitters do. It's not only the lack of quality ABs, but also a near total lack of practice (in addition to never hitting in the minors).

MATH!

Diabetes and MRSA

This has been another installment of "Why Your Job Sucks" by Drew Magary.

And we all fell for it, hook, line and sinker.

Wait, he might eat skyline chili?

5B. Getting hit by a dump truck.

I tend to think it was the 99 AS Game that started problems, but I can see it starting here also. God, he was electric in '99. Best stuff I've ever seen.

You're totally asking to be dragged unconscious from an elevator. Provocation is never the answer.

Video of incident precludes reliance on res ipsa.

So we're taking part in the book of Job then?

Doubt he hits anything above 64 MPH

Elevator thing deserves those cunts being pushed into the open shaft. On fire.

You realize its perfectly acceptable to run right over them. Remember, Red Rover is fun!

No, that's definitely true. It's The Neverending Story which is fake.

For the win.

He still makes damned fine speeches, every week on Franklin & Bash.