So he set all those speed traps?

He's too white to be king here.

Fuck you, it's bad all the time!

I'll be back in a minute. I'm… going outside to…stalk…Sean O'Neal

Somewhere, Guy Fieri is looking down over his shades and smirking at the AV Club party being catered by TGI Fridays.

Has anyone tried their open mic? Asking for a friend…a friend whose penis I see every day.

Stupid babies need the most attention!

That's that ol' straw man conservatives like to trot out, and it always escalates wildly into "well what if the government tells Joe Restaurant Owner that he has to allow gay orgies in his restaurant? Is that the America you want to live in?!"

The whole ascension of Jimmy Fallon as a result of a decade's worth of blunders at NBC admittedly leaves me a little irritated, but TBS Conan is alright with me.

I know a few people who get all oogy when you talk about how hot a grown up former child star is, like they can never stop thinking of him/her as a kid. Weird.

Why is it that even though I know Seth Meyers hosts Late Night now, I feel like he fell off the face of the earth?

I watched this movie last night and it's wonderful deadpan hilarity, like all the Bret/Jemaine/Murray scenes in 'Conchords' but with vampires and werewolves.

I love the videos that show how they digitally replace cityscapes in stuff like The Wolf of Wall Street because it's sort of mind blowing, but when it's obvious CGI like GoT or GotG, then I'm rather meh on the whole thing.

When are we gonna see the mighty robots from Battlestar Galactica take on these gay robots from Star Wars?

We are friends, aren't we, Coily?

That [sic] burn is a sick burn

I almost always skipped the interviews, and if segment 2 was a field piece, I was gone after the first segment.

Stewart was the voice I needed in 2004-2006 while I found who I was politically. Then I fell victim to outrage fatigue and got repeatedly frustrated with Stewart for pulling his punches whenever anyone would assert that he had actual political influence. I never recovered from all that as far as TDS was concerned, but…

I agree, I still can't see how he comes back from this

Oh shit, I did this for the Occupy Conan special using my puppet version of Conan O'Brien and made it on air. I think he can be retrofit into Jon Hamm pretty easily.