The long and short of it is that those Spider-Man films are seen as tainted failures, even if they made money, because no one left happy. Now if we were talking top-of-the-world post-Spider-Man 2 times here, it would be unreal to recast Tobey Maguire. Everyone wants a fresh start without the stench of failure…

Can we please stop calling Jupiter Ascending "original sci-fi" and instead call it "sci-fi not based on a comic or book but featuring slightly different takes on lots of different elements you've seen before?"

Okay, what's with the sudden onset of complaining about the weird, sometimes fantastical little jokes and continuity contradictions that pop up in The Simpsons as though it's a modern thing? We've all been watching the same show for 25+ years, right? That shit has happened all the time.

One day I'll understand the difference between song and record. Someday.

Some weirdo who used to hang around at the same diner I did in the early 2000s claimed he wrote this song and it was stolen from him. I never bothered to do the research, but what if it was true?

If I haven't seen it, it's new to me.

How about that weird testimonial where Bryan Cranston was working hard on AMC's behalf to sell us on Mad Men?

Recently I've discovered I'm allergic to avocados. They make my lips swell.

If I'm being honest, I'm not even that big a fan of steak (and I'm a Texan)

This just reminded me, in a good way, of the TJ Miller bit about his own rider including a "terrible turkey sandwich."

It should be noted that many, many times, Bridges' character is referred to as a "spook"

Ugh for real.

Amongst friends I refer to Fallon as "Buzzfeed: the TV show," since it's all just exuberant references to '90s culture. Which is fine, not my cup of tea, but what does the future hold?

I'm in the same boat. I seem to be the one from my generation who is all "eh" about it

Yeah, I saw it earlier this week and the 35% is probably too kind

A too-kind review of a big stinkburger.

This movie was surprisingly good, I say as a SpongeBob agnostic.

He does not

The answer is no

The most troubling aspect to me is how this movie has elevated this guy to mythic levels (while also portraying boots-on-the-ground troops as little more than cannon fodder) when he was kind of a huge prick who happened to be a really good sniper.