11. Basketball. Like football, basketball games are only fun when they’re completely divorced from reality. I’ll play Arch Rivals and NBA Jam all day long, but a straight basketball game? FUCK NO. I want the ball to literally catch on fire, and I don’t want defense of any kind unless said is defense is someone legally…

The NFL, where receivers are lauded for their “concentration” every single time a tipped ball is caught, but no one involved can concentrate long enough to consider WHY he’s sitting during the national anthem.

A few years after my earliest league, but here’s my 2002 team, where I rode the TB IDPs & an unreal stretch from Mark Boerigter to the championship! (It’s an old screenshot from when I was still able to log in to my Yahoo account.)

But, “Catholics vs. Convicts” when they play Miami though.

If Penn were my friend & I watched one of his videos, I don’t see how I could possibly look him in the eye the next time I saw him.

“Greg. Jemmings.”

North Carolina head coach Larry Fedora

D1, same conference

Great, he’s also one of those losers that keeps returning to his college campus well after graduating.

“Sooooooooo excited to be here.”

The Bulls loss to the Pistons in Game 7 of the 1990 ECF.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE HERTL & ZUCKER RE-SIGNINGS?!?!?

Something tells me LeBron doesn’t understand the meaning of “take the high road”.

I hope to god he doesn’t have to wear a fedora throughout due to the fact that his silhouette has one.

Now, referees will get really good at getting the coin to flip once, à la Mike Senatore, & the NFL will need a new rule to ensure the coin flips at least twice.

1. Shouting your child’s name. This is what I do at games, mostly so that the child knows I am still there and that I didn’t sneak out to the hallway to check my phone or buy gummi bears. You will learn to hate the name of every other child present.

and Tampa Bay was there first!

I chuckled at “bad faceoff guy”, then realized that I couldn’t come up with anything better :\