Go ahead, assholes. Tell us again how "only white people and like seven Indians" care about this issue.

I don't waste my smiles on people I haven't fucked at least twice.

"It can do about 186 mph"

So, is this him?

Rudich had hoped to have Ray Rice come out and give his blessing, thinking that would really knock her off her feet.

so good

It's a perspective thing. And yes, from this angle, it looks incredible. But it gets a lot less impressive when you see it from the proper perspective and realize he's not actually white.

He was actually hanging from the rafters and then let go.

How far can you punt a football?

At his final annual employee meeting this September, Mr. Ballmer gave high-fives and ran off the stage to the song: "(I've Had) The Time of My Life" from the movie "Dirty Dancing."

Qatar?

He later elaborated on his "bad apple" analogy by saying, "You know the apple I am talking about. That one all of our parents warned us about on Halloween that was full of razor blades and would shred you to ribbons if you ever messed with it? I'm like THAT apple."

So... if we hop aboard the Ray Rice train of thought, his wife is a failure for not getting up after he pummeled her.

"Here's your problem. See this support column? Looks like it was designed by a guy who learned calculus at a school which spent its money on a football stadium instead of a decent teacher."

You can tell it's in Australia because the kid spun counter clockwise.

"I don't know where you think you are, little girl, but we don't keep shit like that here as a keepsake. We put it in a casserole dish with cream of mushroom soup, Velveeta, and tater tots, then pop it an oven for an hour or so."