I'm gonna second REC, The Mist, and Slither, but I still feel they got the right Ti West film with "House of the Devil".

While the 6th film in the series hit theatres with a resounding thud last week, I must absolutely argue that, at the very least, the first Paranormal Activity should be midway on this list, if not higher. It may have some seriously horrible sequels, but I would argue the story itself, full of dark pasts between…

Cordless drill face fucking?

I don't have the problem! YOU have a problem! *throws glass bottle at mangy dog on my lawn, staggers, falls into lawn ornament*

I don't know what this says about me, but knowing the Bluths will most likely an appearance in some articles this week makes me happy. I love them so.

Wait. McDonald's sold muffins in 1991? When did that…

While your point about a JFK conspiracy having a higher percentage of possibility than '"Lizard people control us through microwave brain scan" crazy shit' is taken, all of these conspiracies have an extremely low possibility percentage than the evidence shows at this point in most cases. Basically, just because…

I have not opened the floor for questions, so I must dock you 8.2 million points.

*kicks the legs of your walker, bending the metal as the sliced-open tennis balls fly across your perfectly-manicured lawn; drowns you in buckets of 3.5" floppy disks as you writhe about the plant stalks in your meticulously-groomed flower garden*

I don't agree with you, but I'd like to hear your thoughts on this. Maybe we could get breakfast sometime.

"Teen Vogue" or "House and Garden" only, please.

Now I am just waiting for Conde Nast to purchase my publication, Gulf Ingest, where I spend 240 color pages describing the k. Brevis-soaked marine life from the Gulf of Mexico I won't eat.

Yes, Ms. Lawrence. We can help you locate your Calculator function on your Windows PC.

I suppose the issue I am about to bring up has been brought up a ridiculous amount of times, but I need some catharsis.

Or drunkenly wandered aimlessly around a Martian cave until Alien DNA mutated grubs into acid-spitting space snakes, melting his helmet to his drunken Irish face.

Well Colin Trevarrow used him so well in Jurassic World, there wasn't really a need to put him in an intelligent position.

No response to your actual response. Just a nod to your great name where Mayazaki and Sorkin exist in harmony. I would have loved to see a Sorkin-scripted Lupin the Third directed by Mayazaki.

POSSIBLE SPOILERS NOT SURE BUT BE WARY ANYWAY YOU'RE WELCOME DON'T YELL AT ME PLEASE:

The original, more sophisticated title to Steven King's "Thinner"

You've implied Joe Piscopo somehow "nailed" something other than coke lines off of a fellow unconscious homeless man. Your argument is invalid.