Do Not Masturbate While Seated

I’m 42 and I have found love for the first time in my life, so my best days are here!

These are not songs for ALL women—I am a 42-year old woman and I think all these songs suck! My pump up sports mix would be the songs that the Red Sox were listening to during BP’s before the 2013 World Series, with some Lonely Island tracks thrown in.

I believe it was something discovered by trainers, and it would have to put him out of commission—for more than a few days. That rules out herpes and crabs. Chlamydia sounds right.

Going to Disney World but hate crowds? You have a one-week window: the second week in December. The place is practically empty and the temperature is 62 degrees. Aside from the money you must spend, it’s a fairly enjoyable time. But don’t tell anyone about the secret window because then the whole thing will be ruined.

My Russian boyfriend Vlad said that the bottle is “Fairy,” a dishwashing liquid brand. It seems the man said “sukka blaatz” at the end, which translates to “female dog prostitute.”

English Springer Spaniels

“the music industry is stupid, baseball is the best”