Has there ever been a single case of a transgender person attempting to molest a child in a restroom? I’d be more worried about my kids spending time alone with a Republican wrestling coach.

Those of us continuing to deny that those are our kids.

Toews is JJ Watt without all the sanctimonious douchebro tweets about it.

Is she not wearing shin guards? Is that now a thing? Yes, she was awesome last night.

Yes because if there is one place where dumb satirical comments aren't welcome, it's here.

She’s hoping for 40% of the punishment a man would get.

The cops must have been practicing nabbing Wambachs with their T-16s back home.

As a sign of solidarity, Wambach’s former teammate Hope Solo murdered a homeless man.

“Hi Jay, this is Dave from North Side Yamaha checking in. We were doing an internal audit and noticed that you haven’t responded to any customer service emails in 13 years. We want to make sure you are still fully satisfied with your purchase. Call me back.”

I won $5 in my fantasy kickball league thanks to drafting LPShea, so I’m happy.

You think that’s bad? I have a $50/year subscription to your Rec League’s Kickball Network. Boy, you guys are hosers.

...“he finished last in the 40-car field March 5 at Las Vegas Motor Speedway and failed to qualify for the season-opening race at Daytona International Speedway.”

At least no one got shot.

How about American football calling their sport “football” and then handling an egg-shaped leather contraption with their hands 95% of the time?

Let’s dispel once and for all the notion that the NFL doesn’t know what they are doing.

What does this mean?