I feel like I may have heard this before (please grid I don't know multiple people this has happened to) but HOLY FUCK I am glad you are ok.

Worst part is, it must be on some best books list because this was ALWAYS getting checked out of the library I worked at.

OMG WE HAD THAT. It was so weird and I always had a vague feeling as a kid that it was one of those books that is pushing some kind of agenda, but I wasn't sure what. Like it was written by a cult or something. It always creeped me out.

THAT POOR DONKEY IT IS TOO SMALL.

You know Peter Mayle, the "Year In Provence" dude? This is his sex ed book from the 70s.

I always hated The Giving Tree for the same reasons (although I didn't know words like "male privilege" when I first read the book). Glad I'm not just a stone-hearted Scrooge incapable of love.

Gah! I do like some sweet/savory combos (my husband made dark-chocolate-covered-blue-cheese truffles once OMG) but that is wrong.

A friend of mine makes them every time she has people over. She is my favorite person (she also has a chocolate fountain).

Yes! Now I'm curious if by "what kind of eggs" he thought the waitress was offering eggs from different birds? Does he know that most eggs people eat are from chickens? DOES HE EVEN KNOW EGGS ARE FROM BIRDS OR IS HE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO THINK EGGS ARE NONSPECIFIC "DAIRY"???

The kicker for me is that, RIGHT THERE IN THE STORY, the server suggests different types of egg dishes. So I mean unless Dudebro thought by "poached eggs" the server was suggesting rare and illegally collected ones...come on!

Duh, it's made of ham. Clue is in the name.

I always wonder that despite having read how unsexy sex scenes are. The latest time, I was watching something with full nudity, groins clearly touching; I assume they weren't having actual sex but they were basically dry-humping. It's got to be so weird in the context of filming, but how do you NOT get a little…

Not a big honking belt, just a skinny, flexible one. It keeps the cardigan fitted to your body and defines your waist, and just gives your outfit a "finished" look. I don't know how to describe it better! Here's an example (this is from puttingmetogether.com):

Put a belt on it. I wear pretty much all dresses and skirts but I even do this with my one pair of jeans, every time. Dress + cardigan can look a little shlumpy but put a skinny belt on over the cardigan = put together. A t-shirt tucked into a skirt or t-shirt/jeans/blazer can be elevated to business casual. A…

I just keep cleaning cloths stashed everywhere - car, purse, desk, bedside table. I use ones that came with my glasses and also get one or two from the eye doctor every time I go in.

I have pretty much the exact same story, are you my cousin with whom I drank endless Shirley Temples? I think I might have thrown up under a table, too. Fortunately (I think) I haven't really been to many weddings so this is my worst.

OMG I've been wanting to watch this again so bad but have no idea where to find it.

I think she might have been the first person I followed on Twitter and I have never regretted it.

That's AWESOME. there was a (human) skeleton on display in my high school biology class room. Why did the school have it? Because the headmistress and some students found the body of a dead hermit while on a walk in the countryside and, I guess, were told they could keep him (important note: this was c. 1850).

What kind of dicks are you encountering? Lobster tail?! CHOCOLATE EASTER BUNNY?!