I believe I said something to the effect of “it’s a fucking movie, but after this, you may be dying in your sleep soon too.”

True story, I only saw The Notebook because my boyfriend at the time wanted to go see it. He then promptly dumped me that night because “we were just never going to have a love like that.”

“Ned, the Ken doll come to life.”

I am a woman and I am way too busy getting my period and ironing to watch TV anyway so whatever

Titanic spoilers -

Part of me would like the idea of an all-male Charlie’s Angels. Except two of them would be gay. It’d be simply to tell the Hollywood types, “You wanted all male, you got all male. Quidcherbidchin!”

Well, I don’t watch CBS because it skews too stupid.

Thank goodness that restroom is being kept safe from trans women.

“Happy Birthday bitches!”

Women watch more tv, and also buy more consumer goods. Why on earth would you cater to a group that doesn’t want to watch scripted tv and also doesn’t do their own shopping?

They have all the shows your mom likes. I’m unhappy there’s no Nancy Drew right now, but happy that Nancy Drew will never touch butts with NCIS: Cities and Large Suburbs, Big Bang Theory, and something called Elementary, which I’ve never heard of but looks like it would piss me off.

I can’t think of one since Bitch Hunter.

Well, we can’t have a lead female with only 3 penises to back her up! That’s crazy talk!

I see this sort of thing and I wonder if proximity to my vajay makes my money somehow turn a different color/be worth less. Uh, women are a lot of people, and a lot of us watch t.v. And also, boys can like girl characters. So...take my money/eyeballs/impressions?

Voldemort priest.

“ I made my wedding dress out of the burlap sack they delivered the potatoes I used to personally make vegan hash browns which I served at my $5 back yard wedding after asking guests to please contribute hugs to the needy in lieu of gifts.”

People are having them below, don’t fret. Any time a nice wedding is covered, there is a face-off beginning with someone who had their wedding at the greyhound bus vending machine with a dress they found while foraging for melted down candle sticks.

LENTILS!!!!!! JUST SERVE LENTILS AT YOUR LENTIL WEDDING!

I don’t get wedding “themes.” In planning our wedding, people have asked what the theme is, and I’m like uh...wedding? Marriage?

The photos are stunning, and they got to have an owl be a part of their wedding. If I had $65K to blow on my wedding, I’d have had an owl too.