“There goes my hero.” - Roger Goodell, watching as Mark Emmert walks away

Being among Patriots fans is the worst part about living in New England. Not the weather, not the albino-puritan culture, not the driving, not even Dunkin Donuts coffee. No, it’s having to deal with all the mouth-breathing, scrunched-faced dipfucks in their Tom Brady/Danny Amendola/Rob Gronkowski/Tedy…

I made a word cloud of everything the fans wrote

Good point. She acts annoyingly familiar, they tip her 25%-that makes her think they liked it and therefore she continues to act like that. They created this monster by assuming their waitress was a mind reader.

we’re strong 25-percent-no-matter-what tippers

Do you just scour other websites looking for good stories and then steal them? I read this hours ago on another site and it was almost word for word.

Well, being exposed by Kirk Minihane is much better than being exposed to Kirk Minihane.

I think it’s a pretty good sign you’re one of the Warriors fans who became die-hards five years ago if you think anyone calls LeBron “Sir James”.

Nah. God help me, but I was really really good at golf growing up, and I preferred it to hockey and baseball because you could be high as a kite while playing on the high school golf team. So anyway, as a young pup I played a ton of tournament golf. Here’s what actually happened, if it ever gets out of the grays....

Why wasn’t Deadspin (and specifically, you Diana) able to find Ms. Ennis’ incident from 2011? Don’t you do simple searches of the people you write about before publishing?

But what, other than sexual fitness signaling, what oh what are cheerleaders doing in the world?

It is satisfyingly funny, and disappointingly expected, to see his fans, who delighted in his lampooning of people they don’t like (e.g., Christians), clutch their pearls when he lampoons those they find off-limits (e.g., themselves).

And is not of African origin, but Arab / Asian from the middle ages and it first featured a turtle instead of frog. While the earliest known script featuring a frog is from 1954 by Orson Welles’ for the film Mr. Arkadin.

After writing an extensive post about cultural appropriation, i supposed you would be more…

I can’t imagine the cosmic level whining that would be going on in MLB if Rickey was still being Rickey.

How about climb off the defenseman and get the fuck out of the net? I think the weak part you were looking for was right there.

Can’t get trashed by Boeheim for leaving Syracuse early if you never play for him.

Honestly because it’s none of your fucking business

The only thing that has ever worked for me (as a short, overweight woman, which is apparently the worst demographic for losing weight) is to stick to a very rigid calorie count. 1200/day is the upper end. 1000/day is swifter. The only way I manage it without wanting to eat everyone’s faces might not work for you, but…

Yeah but you’re still a Lakers fan fan which is sad as fuck. Literally no big free agent wants to play in LA anymore. That is seriously fucked up. James Harden will likely get the last laugh on uh...Lonzo Ball?? IDK who else plays for that depressing team

I live by train tracks, they don’t have dicks