Hey there, I’m American. Honestly it’s because a bunch of us are assholes. The whole middle* of the country has never seen a muslim before but finds them general terrifying and really thinks that the mexicans are coming to steel their jobs and rape their women. Trump repeated the racist drivel they heard on Fox News…

One time, I forgot about a presentation I had in fourth grade. I didn’t research or read anything. Totally forgot about it for weeks. I did my best to wing it, but I only fooled the other idiot kids in the room, not my teacher. Every time Trump speaks, I hear that presentation.

He was clearly watching CNN yesterday. He tweeted at Chris Cuomo while they were still live.

His phone kept slipping out of his hands because they were still all lotiony.

No reason. That’s just literally how long it took him to type that. Small hands.

Had to call aides from his bathroom phone for help spelling the word “remarkably”.

By being terrible at all of those things?

Well, he’s usually in his bathrobe, so I’m guessing masturbation.

Reasons it took him 12 minutes to Tweet what he just saw on tv: GO!

Looks like the one armed man in “The Fugitive”.

Ex Arau’s wife, Laura Esquivel, author of Like Water from Chocolate, an awesome book, has a lot to say about him too, he is not so nice.

I actually always thought Debra Messing had a really unique pretty nose, it adds character to her face. I’m happy she named names, this piece of garbage doesn’t deserve a career in the industry. We can’t enable assholes like this and people like Woody Allen, yet they still have careers and win Oscars.

The treatment of Michelle is reason enough to abolish it. An educated woman who wanted to tackle the unfortunate truth that most of American children are Augustus Gloop clones is a bridge too far. Enjoy your clogged arteries!

To me it is such a sexist vestigial remain. Like, she wasn’t elected, she isn’t getting paid for the position, but she is still expected to do a whole bunch of work because her husband is President. And people threw a shit-fit when Michelle Obama commented that there should be some kind of compensation for the First…

It is such a stupid position. Considering the catalogue of horrors coming our way if Melania could humor me by just getting piss drunk on the lawn and screaming “Send In The Clowns”, thus ending any and all dignity attached to this charade of a role, I could live with that.

Lily Tomlin is so rad that she makes me forgive the stank-ass flower she’s named for.

Karlie, there’s no need to pose. Please stick to the videos and songs that you’re used to.

Trump seems to think that insulting foreign leaders is a great idea yet demands everyone else treats him with respect.