Uncle Sugar funds your boner pills, Fuckabee. Uncle Sugar also funds penis pumps and implants. Tell us, why don't you men accept impotence for what it so clearly is? God's Will For You.

Boycott shampoo! Demand REAL poo!

So I'm about ten years behind, but I recently starting watching The Forsyte Saga on Netflix. Christ on a cracker is that stuffy, pretentious, repressive, and all around awesome shit. My question - why does everyone with a penis think Irene shits rainbows? I think she's really freaking dull. I'd hang out with June…

Really, the key to a good relationship is two bathrooms. That way me and my boo can both have terrible wine-shits in the morning and take as long as we like. #truelove

Tuna salad on white bread with mayonnaise, a Tab, and a couple of Twinkies.

Are you telling me that the amazing Retta doesn't get invited to the slumber parties?!

But he will fall and it's because of his hubris and misogyny. I'm sorry that you think that finding any humor in this is akin to supporting misogyny. That's not how it works, unfortunately.

Short & sweet. If said dude making the advance wont take a simple NO. You have every right to twist the knife.
“When a man says no in this culture, it’s the end of the discussion. When a woman says no, it’s the beginning of a negotiation.” – Gavin De Becker

"justice boner" = priceless

Maybe you liberal Obot sycophants missed this headline the other day regarding the heroic George Zimmerman:

The Zimmer-Man sat stroking his cat (by that I mean pistol), a Sig P220 he had fondly named "Katie." He thought about his life, and the choices he had made. Triumphs, regrets, hopes all flooded his head, and he was brought back to his greatest failure: that time he missed that sale on that awesome Glock 19. Sadness…

Though this has really been a serious setback on our country's slow road towards racial parity, it warms my heart to know that people cared enough to go out and say something. In an age of inaction and rage filtered through the anonymity of the Internet it's really something to see people united publicly against a…

Dear trolls,

Are you fucking joking? There is literally a recording of the call where the operator tells him NOT TO FUCKING FOLLOW MARTIN.

You guys I just.... I'm in tears. Like I just... and the fact that racist assholes will use this verdict as further justification for their demonization of black men.... I can't. You guys I feel broken. I can't believe this happened.

Ahh yes. Easier access to healthcare in the US has definitely killed James Gandolfini in Italy.

I usually don't chime in on this kind of stuff, but I will say this since you are asking for advice. I just turned 38, and I cannot stress enough how many changes—in behavior, beliefs, opinions, feelings, lifestyle choices, etc—you will probably go through between now and, say, 40. I know that may not be the same for…

2 things here:

Optibra makes me think of the Opti-Grab glasses from The Jerk. Aside from that, I think it's a great idea.