I have some pretty extreme middle names to cope with as it is, but god, if I was a boy I would've been... Mungo. MUNGO. Mungooooooo. My grandparents, bless them, bought a dog and called him Mungo in a last-ditch attempt to save me but my parents were planning to go ahead with it anyway, so set were they on ruining my…

I think it's because if we admit that plastic surgery makes someone look better, we're admitting that we, too, are likely flawed enough to benefit from intervention.

Richard Ayoade needs to be higher!

I do my best to remember the concept of "inconvenience" when I get caught in bumper to bumper traffic on I95 north of the city, to tell myself..."someone could have just lost their life, and I have only lost 10 minutes of mine" and even then, it's not "lost" at all, I just need to be positive and think of groceries I…

aunt/uncle (wow, there is no common neutral term for that, is there?)

a cute kid with a shitty father, apparently...

While this is clearly upsetting to some people here, I think it's important to see things like this.

Sounds like he is indeed concerned about the environment. Especially his own.

Yikes! Kevin Hart's second tweet there seems way out of proportion - when is it ever okay to tell someone to kill themselves? I know I don't have the whole story, but yeesh...

who wouldn't want to go from manhattan beach to plano?

This is a very well-written piece of fiction and definitely tries to get into the mind of the other person to make them "not a villain." However, I don't think suing god and everyone is going to help the case any.

More like a condescending explanation by a male. When a woman is condescending, people just call her a bitch.

An actual working plunger. I mean a plunger that really works on anything. Not some cartoon-ass, mickey mouse plunger with a faded wooden handle and a ceremonial rubber sucker, but something that can push an elephant shit down a mouse shitter. Not everyone has delicate Victorian lady shits, because some people…

Something I said was untrue. Nothing is always true.

I don't believe you

Just assume everyone is lying all the time. The only possible way someone is telling the truth is if they are talking about something that is not important. If they are trying to convince of something or get you to do something though, they are probably lying. Everyone. All the time. True story!

I always call it cricket legs and joke that I can play them like a violin.

Why is it that you never hear guys saying "Man, I love hanging out with chicks but I just do not get along with other dudes, because all they talk about is like cars and sports and action movies and stuff"?

Whiteface is weird and a little creepy, but not offensive to me. Maybe other white people find it offensive, and it's not my place to say how white people feel. I enjoy the trend of making fun of white people. We really, really deserve it.

I think this depends on how the teen handles the situation. If she is willing to scale back her fun times and be a responsible parent and contribute to the household I'd be all for supporting her. I'd be happy to babysit when she goes to school or a job. But if she wanted to go out and have fun like a normal teenager…