My dog Charlie (who died about two years ago) was a toilet paper roll fiend. He was like the Gael Greene of toilet paper roll consumption: "Hmmm. This has a rustic, grainy cardboard feel. There's certainly a lingering flavor of pulp. It dances on the tongue, like a diminutive prima ballerina with an acerbic attitude.…

You bit his tongue off?? I want to buy you a drink if you're ever in Massachusetts, please.

I'm not a woman, so I have no experience with being sexually assaulted like this

When I suggest that maybe men shouldn't be shouting gross comments at me in public I get told that I hate masculinity and that I am infringing on their freedom to speak.

...She pushed him off of her. She didn't throw a punch, didn't initiate a fight. Just shoved him off of her, because he was physically assaulting her. Also, why did you feel the need to say this? It amounts to "you were asking for it, bitch" and it's said ad nauseam every fucking time an article like this is posted.

Do you realize that when I've been groped and assaulted, or harassed and catcalled, I've been told after the fact that I should have used my words and stood up for myself? That I should have "just kicked him in the balls" since that is supposedly the magical remedy for manly assault?

We cannot win. We are either too…

Serious question - I feel moderately the way you describe when my boyfriend comments to me about running alone, running in the evening, or women running alone in general. I know he just wants me to be safe. But it irks me when he says these things. Like, why should I have to alter my life, why should any women have to…

I have just realized that I am actually meant to be an author, but I don't plan on ever writing anything ever. I just wanted you to know that.

Hey guys, I want to tell you about this thing I feel, but never ever plan on acting on just so you can think more or less of me than you do now depending on how open you are about these sort of things!

Actually, I kind of agree with Prudence here. She's in a monogamous marriage to a man. They are not opening it up, apparently, to include others. Marriage presumably means forever. Unless the topic came up of its own accord, what would be the point of making an announcement?

I think the point was that violence against women (see "fridging") is an overused trope that uses the victimization of women as a literary/storytelling shortcut... it's a cheap trick that sacrifices a damsel in distress for the sake of generating pathos for the male protagonist... not that there shouldn't be violence…

You're totally right; the way in which he has turned down most of his sponsorship opportunities, canceled the reality documentary after negative feedback, performed well in the preseason, and given one interview since being drafted by the Rams (in which he talked about how performing well in the preseason gave him…

Also why I was incredibly confused by the lyrics to the theme of "The Nanny"

Also whither the tight white jeans? CAN SOMEONE (PERHAPS A MAN) PLEASE EXPLAIN?

No one is spinning in circles with their arms above their heads. I do not recognize this as a feminine hygiene commercial.

"Warm hummus," tho.

OMFG, CLITTY LITTER.

I had no idea there was a name for smegma, although I guess I should have known there was. I've been calling it Clitty Litter™ since I was a teenager.