Nobody was ever really limited...the choice to wear a different color was always there.

What does white have to do with being "slutty" or not?

This is mostly true, but I doubt the "dress you will only wear once" line. I would bet that you could also wash a white dress as long as you didn't stain it with food. They had industrial strength cleaners - I mean, soap used to be made with lye so strong that'd take a few layers of skin off - in the 19th century. You…

Just in case anyone is thinking "how can she disrespect her great grandmother and family history that way, by making fun of the name Virgine?"

Retribution does exist in this universe, it's just not as clean, neat or swift as people are used to it being in fiction.

Wait...a whole paragraph and the texture is not mentioned? IMHO they taste OK but the mouthfeel is basically pumice.

"brown wax covered raisins...now with extra wax!"

I like 'em too, but I like some of the older men's names more. If I were planning to have kids, a girl would totally be named Peregrine.

I wouldn't be able to stop singing that song ("Ruby Ruby Ruby Ruby...do ya do ya do ya do ya"

NO I AM THE WINNER THIS IS NOT A JOKE.

Yup. I'd absolutely get rid of the bit of belly that makes all jeans of any cut by any brand fit badly and never disappears no matter how much I work out, and suck out the double chin that I had even after I got dysentery (so it's not even about being overweight or not).

apparently they also photoshopped the Lincoln Tunnel through this part here.

Yep. Some HR hack trying to justify hizzer salary I guess? Who knows. I think my boss also realized it was fluffy nonsense; no idea if it is still used - this happened 8 years ago. I found the "real" performance review helpful, or at least it would have been, if I had had more interest in a long-term career in that…

Ha! Thanks!

As for where I am now, I traveled a bit, visited a friend in Japan, ended up in Taiwan, decided I liked it quite a bit, and got some awful job teaching English for a year. Whatever, I used that year to find something better and got hired with a 'management consulting' firm in Taipei where I was sent out to do…

I can't say it would have been helpful to me in "where I want to grow" because I just don't think in terms of "build to grow", "share to succeed", "living the [company] way" etc.. It's just fluffy nonsense. I want specific direction, I want "you're good at X, weak in Y, and with Z training you could do Jobs A or B.…

There was a performance management system, which was just like a basic annual evaluation thing. This is an extra thing someone devised to accompany that, or be extra to that, and no, we received no feedback as to how to fill it out (not that it would have made a difference seeing as the choices made no sense and I…

And this is why I can never work in an office again.

It's not nearly as interesting. I didn't get to use any language like "this is utter bollocks", "...and what's worse is that this was made by some rando who makes twice what I do", "you know what's wrong with this thing?" and "What does that even mean?" etc.

if it's not a HANGRY HANGRY HIPPO, it's a fat t-rex. Yes, it is.