I recently heard his brother, Aniz, on a podcast relate that their mom asked to be removed from the family text group because Aziz is always trying out bits there. That cracked me right up. They’re a delightful family.

I thought he was a great choice for this monologue, I am a fan of Ansari. He is insightful and cutting but just so gosh darn nice, his humor, even about tough topics, makes me feel like we’re all going to be just fine.

It was so great. I also loved the part where he talked about his parents. His mom and dad are the best part of his show

Brown’s offensive reference to the wrong ethnic origin goes nicely with Ansari’s joke about people telling him to “go back to...the country you’re from!”. His follow up is that the racists tend to not be geography buffs.

Aziz’s bit about G.W. Bush in his opening monologue cracked me up. “What the hell has happened? I’m sitting here wistfully watching old George W. Bush speeches? Just sitting there- ‘What a leader he was!’ 16 years ago I was certain this dude was a dildo, now I’m sitting there like ‘He guided us with his eloquence!’”

Are you really saying that 12 year olds don’t know that stabbing people to death is wrong? When you were 12, did you kill people?

At 12 they don’t know it’s wrong to murder? Huh....I guess I was very advanced for a 6th or 7th grader to know that murder is wrong! And to think I’m from Ohio, who voted for Trump, and still knew murder is bad. The times we live in!

Alternative definition of innocent?

Little girls, absolutely they should be tried as such, but innocent? Really?

You would have been best served to leave out the Manson girls, they were in their 20s when they murdered multiple people. It is infantilizing to compare a couple of adults to 12 year old girls, and something that would never, ever be done a male serial killer in his early 20s.

But they can still provide information about shmashmortion.

actual typo.

My favorite:

Fears of living in NYC:

The beard thing makes no sense. She moved to Green Bay. I grew up there; you don’t move to Green Bay for giggles. Also, they’ve been dating and living together for years now. Usually beard situations, there’s a marriage within a year so she can start racking time toward the eventual divorce payout.

There were a bunch of guys on Deadspin when this story came out in the Times saying that Aaron was a jerk and clearly his family was in the right, but, yeah, definitely outnumbered by the folks who can see through the shit his family is slinging.

This thing’s gonna flop harder than a basset hound:

‘Cause he had one hand in her pocket, and the other one was depositing all of her money in a Swiss bank account.

I had the same disturbing experience with John Wick. I jumped up from the couch screaming “Fuck no! NO! NONONONONONONO! Why did they do that?” and then refused to watch the rest of the movie.

It’s based on a very touching book where a dog keeps getting reincarnated to fulfill his purpose. Sad, but also touching and inspiring. The focus is on the reincarnation and how he helps the humans who lives with, not on the deaths, most of which are after a natural lifespan.