But I really want Aunt Bernice and Jen Esposito to have a zany 70s web series where they just either crash parties or solve the mystery of the week, scooby doo style.

Dated a guy in a shitty folk pop, Jack Johnson-esque band for TWO YEARS. He had a poster of Paul Simon above his bed.

OUCH.

I've never actually commented on Jezebel before, but I had to for this. I had the same experience—the anesthesia failed during my c-section, also while they were doing "uterine massage" for massive hemorrhage. It felt like a dozen knives stabbing through me all the way to the table below, over and over and over. I…

So here I was, scrolling through several replies and thinking, "None of these are all that bad. How can my castor oil story really be worse than everyone else's? It was really not that awful!" And then I came to your story, and I decided to never get pregnant again.

You are the strongest person alive.

Note to EVERYONE: Thank you so much for your concern! I really...did not think this was that big of a deal, but apparently it is...so to those of you who are wondering/worried:

I DIDNT KNOW THAT WAS POSSIBLE AND NOW I DO TAKE IT BACK TAKE IT BACK

So, some of you may have little bits of this already.

Somehow, it feels wrong to star this... but I have to. Oh my god. My girlparts are still clenched after reading this. It may be days before they relax.

I just rammed my fist into my lips and made a sound like every squeaky horror story door opening at once for 45 seconds. My knees are still clenched together.

"Forward."

Since this literally just happened to me and I'm recovering from a c-section after being discharged yesterday, I'm sort of vicariously excited to see what other people went through.

Good god. GOOD GOD. That is all I can muster because my entire body is still recoiled.

I had a really problematic pregnancy. When I delivered, I tore. Forward. This is apparently kind of rare, but I split up the middle toward my clitoris. I cannot explain how painful that was.

Long story short. My mother had my little brother, ended up in the ICU, and then had a hysterectomy. And that was that.

I totally had Oreos and chocolate milk for dinner earlier this week, and I have a job and an apartment and the other hallmarks of a reasonably well-adjusted adult, so I resoundingly endorse your parenting! ;)

Yup. My mom had no trouble lactating me (firstborn) but my sister? Mom says she was brutal from the beginning. She still recalls how intense was my sister's glare and expression when she was feeding, too. After the third month her OB/GYN told her to stop lactating because her nipples were detaching and he was worried…

"The left one had become semi-detached from the areola. It moved up and down much like the head of a Pez dispenser."