I bet Dan also has a lot of fervently-held opinions about babies on flights.
I’ll be over here if you need me.
I have an 18 and a 16 year old. I can tell you stories that will make your ovaries die.
The only way I can still get an erection is by thinking about my 401k.
That’s grim, dude. I have to quit smoking so I can make it to like 70 when I’m old enough to be the center of the universe again.
I did the same thing at 16. I don’t judge myself for letting my irrational teen brain be convinced that I was just more mature than most teens and that’s why an older man was interested in me. I do judge the older man for not reining me in and rejecting my advances because there has to be something wrong with a 23…
But you have to take yourself too seriously at that age. It’s your job. It’s everyone else’s job to toughen you up a bit, help you find the right size for things, etc.
She’s right, though. I sprung fully-grown from my father’s forehead at about age 25. #Athena
Things less “natural” (i.e., less frequent in the wild) than homosexuality:
You know what doesn’t EVER make babies?
Pat Robertson was actually conceived through subway frottage. That’s why his name is Pat.
It is true. Everybody wants to marry their pets. We’re just holding out and staying super quiet about it...
And lo, on the eighth day, The Lord made the prostate. And it was good.
Show me one couple who has conceived a child through oral sex, or sex after a vasectomy, or hysterectomy, or infertile couples, or sex after menopause. Are they “unnatural” as well, Pat?
Every time I see a headline that starts with “Pat Robertson,” I secretly hope that it will be followed by, “Dies in Bizarre Anal Sex Ritual.”
If the guy is a lousy lay who’s done quickly, you sure CAN keep your hair that perfect!
Still a better love story than Twilight.