His sexy-talk voice is really starting to creep me out. Why is he so turned on? If he's not, why is he talking like that?

He peobably likes to take a dump on her chest and then fuck her feet only. I know a lot of these "conservatives".

Wait, did you factor in the bonus you get from taking the feat Dirty Pillows? That adds two to your lust damage, plus gives you extra rounds of rage when blood is involved.

He has the likability of a serial killer.

Always trust a man who matches his shirts with his upholstery. A man with that kind of commitment to a color scheme will never steer you wrong.

"You know Tina, the Devil takes your soul every time you orgasm? That is why your mother is still a pure woman today!" (I'm just guessing based on the image, I have to wait until I am done with work to be sure.)

Taunt of Slut is my next band name.

Eh. Someone will *always* complain about your wedding. You do you. (I'm normally kinda Miss Manners about this stuff, but for some reason, registering for an Xbox just doesn't bother me... go figure.)

Horrible advice. There's no obligation to buy from a registry or a specific item from someone's registry, so if they want to register for a flat screen or nice speakers, more power to them. Plus I'd rather get them the flat screen they'd actually use, than the candy dish that their mother & "decorum" made them…

That's exactly what happened to my cousin, though her groom went with a pack of jerky. They left it on, though, and someone actually bought it!

My wife was in full control of the scanner for our registry, I disappeared with it for about 10 seconds to scan a 12 pack of beer without her knowing since I had no say it what went on the list. She found out a few days later after sending the registry out to everyone, and you would have thought I cheated on her for…

Point of fact: he is showing just as much vagina as Hannah Davis.

Next year's cover is going to be a woman in stirrups with a speculum in. Just right up in it. If we're having this vagina conversation anyway, we might as well see an actual vagina, damnit.

You know, there are SO many shots of men in low-slung pants/board shorts with the whole hips-and-muscle-y V thing happening on their lower torso. They're definitely on the covers of magazines like that, sometimes. This isn't different. At all.

Apparently when I'm too freaked out to articulate words I go "ngaah" in a quiet, quavering voice. This is what I learned about myself today.

Thank you. I was just about to write "How can you write an article like this AND NOT PROVIDE PICTURES. There are names for girls like you!"

I'm more shocked about the Bud lite.