That was very nearly a fantastic haiku.

Shipping your enemies glitter: $9.99 AUD.

We both know you didn't just pick Abu Dhabi out of a hat.

My business ShipYourEnemiesToAbuDabi.com got shut down and three of my employees got arrested for kidnapping. Go figure.

Someone should totally glitter bomb that guy.

Thank god I'm not the only one struggling with the true problem here! This guy can't spell his own damn name.

To know someone hated me enough to spend $10 to ship me glitter...that would warm the cockles of my cold dead heart.

"course, and rough, and irritating...and it goes nowhere" ?

No, I haven't. I can't. I tried, just to see the hype. The writing was so atrocious, and the sex is like, 50 pages in, so I couldn't make it. But, I'll check out the link. And now knowing that it's like, rapey makes it that much worse.

You know I told myself for the new year I was going to stay out of 50 Shades of Grey articles for the sake of my sanity but I'm glad I went here if only for all the Gillian Anderson love that hijacked the comments.

So I haven't read the books, bbbuuuutttt...

Allegedly the scene where he's sexily running his hand down her side and she keeps cracking up wasn't supposed to be in the movie except she really couldn't keep herself from laughing and he just kept getting more and more annoyed and the director kept it all and used it.

I want the Rifftrax version of this movie.

I immediately thought of this, bc I'm me:

Well, you would have had the perfect answer to the question.

Ditto. I'm constantly asking people about their goals and aspirations in the hopes I hear one I like and then it can be mine too.

A pox on your questions. Down with love. Having just been dumped I'm finding the only thing I can do to distract myself is old episodes of Law and Order SVU. The only in love couples on that show are murdered/maimed/suffering from semen in the ear and anal contusions.

I called this questionnaire 36 Reasons You Won't Be Answering My Texts.

Martika's coming back?!?

Filed to: White people doing whatever the fuck.