You know your league is in trouble when Steve Smith (Sr) is the voice of calm and reason.

Smart move by Dwyer to hide in the bathroom. Had he tried to run from the cops, he wouldn't have gotten more than 3 or 4 yards away before being brought down.

Boy, you really classed it up. I probably would have just poured vodka on a cookie and called it a day.

OOOO I would so do this but I can barely find Zumba work outs in my area, it'll probably be years before this comes to town.

So now I gotta put on a faceful of makeup to exercise??

I'm all for different types of exercise being available, but anything with affirmations makes me feel like I'm in a fledgling cult.

I mean, I get the "my parents hit me and they are not monsters" defense a lot of people who were hit as children throw out there, but the gusto with which people were defending AD was bizarre. Plus, it's 2014, we know physical discipline is not particularly effective and we have hundreds of books and dozens of TV…

You know I thought about that, but a cookie martini would probably have to include one of those horrible flavored vodkas. A really good cookie along with a really good martini seemed like a better overall experience.

A COOKIE MARTINI.

Do I think this is silly? Absolutely. But ultimately, I am all for a variety of forms of exercise, so people can pick what works for them and makes them happy, all while being physically fit and healthy.

Don't judge me, but I'm currently googling to see if they have classes available in Seattle.

Apparently, Dwyer does, in fact, support domestic violets.

And they said he'd never be in the same conversation as Rice and Peterson.

This isn't silly enough to a be a funny troll job. It's a sad and pathetic one instead. Consider deleting.

LOL so his text about being anti-"domestic violets" was months after he knew he did this?

I know I'm going to get torn to shreds for stereotyping by the libtard deadspin PC police, but someone needs to say it: Why is it always the back guys?

I think the NFL could solve their domestic violence and child abuse problems easily by eliminating the position of running back.

A nice wrinkle on the Pro Bowl would be the All-Exempt Team against the All-Active team.

Fine I'll rephrase:

Cool, so if you or your wife fuck up are you also OK with catching a beating? Or does your violence policy only extend to people too small to fight back?