I'm mesmerized by the person (Taylor Schilling?) yawning in the background. It's the perfect punctuation to Giuliana's inanity.

Dear god, if I wore this much eyeliner, I would last like ten minutes before my habitual eye-rubbing turned me into a weird blackface parody of a human being.

The scientific validity of this study has unfortunately been compromised by a small sample size.

My husband stepped on my dress a few times, but I had it bustled so it wasn't that bad.

We did the foxtrot to "Somewhere Beyond the Sea" by Bobby Darrin. We got married in Tobago. It was awesome.

The picture we have framed from our wedding?

I feel like this tree.

That message to Mrs. Obama and her girls sent chills down my spine - I don't know how she does it.

These guys are total bags of shit, but I'm, not gonna lie, " je suIS IS" is kinda clever.

In all fairness, men are known for being bad at math.

RIP, producers of my Bonne Bell Vanilla lipgloss. I coated my lips with you pre-makeout sessions, you probably made me taste like petroleum jelly and look like a glazed donut.

Did I ever tell you all my Williamsburg story? One time my friend and I were walking around there and a literal homeless person approaches us and says, "Excuse me, do either of you have an American Spirit by any chance?" I go, "No, I smoke Camels, want one?" And my friend goes, "No, I smoke Camel Lights, want one?" To…

if you cry when you lose, you're a sore loser. if you cry because you lose to girls, you're a sexist sore loser, and learning a lesson like this will only help you grow as a person.

Why is that a picture of a women laughing when the texts says tears? You seem confused.

Aww! You made a new account and everything. That is fucking adorable!

ur trying rly hard so i'll just bring out of the greys. guys, give him a pat on the head.

There was a brief moment reading this where I thought Empire was a network and this was the most clumsily titled show in TV history.

A 99% consciousness rate and a single thrown beer can is a rager success.

I believe it was Tina Fey who said: "Helen Mirren is not proof that there are parts for older women, Helen Mirren is proof that there are parts for Helen Mirren."

They loved their son so much that they killed their daughter.

I am so glad that you had a wonderful wedding, but there are plenty of women who don't want to get married, or don't want a wedding, or find joy in other things. There are also plenty of people who find nothing but pain and suffering in marriage. What works for you doesn't work for everyone, and pitying other women…

Let me be super clear about this: I think everyone should be allow to love whomever they want and be a religious person. I don't think that religious sect of any kind should discriminate against gay people. With that being said, I understand how and why a person might decide they want to live within their communities…