Then your memory is pure dogshit.

And you’re John Hinckley Jr to his Jodie Foster.

You’re the kind of fatuous bore who gets behind the wheel of a modern car and pats himself on the back because his new ride is sooooo much cooler than the cars Henry Ford or Ferdinand Porsche built. I mean, what an asshole Ford must have been, not including GPS in the Model T!

What I seriously dislike is when someone tries to ride an original creator’s coattails while simultaneously pissing on the person’s leg. Without Gygax, you’d be writing articles about Candyland.

Raquel Welch in One Million B.C.

You’re dumb.

What a coincidence! I also google photos of hot chicks from time to time in order to boost my self esteem, which would suffer if I had to rely strictly on my imagination for a good, hard wank. Now if you’ll excuse me...

Stop lying.

Ah, go fuck yourself:

No way! I only drink my wine bareback. Condoms are for sailors.

More importantly, how on earth does the photo in question count as “topless”? She’s showing about one-third of her right breast and some slight underboob with the left.

They don’t even show tits and ass in the magazine anymore. What’s the point of Playboy?

Punching Nazis: If it’s good enough for Indiana Jones and Captain America...

It’s much better when set to the tune of the Yes song Roundabout:

He had injured knees, he’s an all-time great player, and you are one dumb cunt.

I’m convinced the Spanoses were out to destroy the San Diego Chargers from the time they bought the team in 1984. It’s just that they’re so fucking incompetent they couldn’t do that right. Every so often the Chargers would be good and the Spanoses would step in and put an end to that.

The best thing about the AFC Championship is that the referees might call a straight game, since it’s two NFL face teams.

Harrison hooked his own arm, which means it’s not holding.

But his refusal to talk about his relationship with his family means that it’s his family’s version of events that becomes public, not his.

The same reason inbred hicks fuck farm animals.