They’d be dead by now.

Ashagoteh no one is paying attention to this!

I can’t even imagine what they were thinking with this. This is exactly the kind of case where it’s actually a good idea to make an example of the criminals to warn others off. Most of the time when they do that it’s crime linked to poverty, and it’s a load bullshit that isn’t going to help. In this case, there is…

To the top of the porch, to the top of the wall,
Now dash away, dash away, dash away, bitch!

Sure, Santa may look old and uncool now, but I heard he used to sleigh on the mic back in the day.

Agreed.

College football’s pass interference penalty (15 yards and a 1st down) is also vastly superior.

THAT TAEK WAS TOO HOT

I actually think the 32-week schedule idea is brilliant... which is confirmation that it will never happen.

Don’t forget J.J. Watt! He’s every Trump supporter’s and old white male sports journalist’s gay fantasy man. (Not that there’s anything wrong with having a gay fantasy man. Just be honest about it.)

More like Ashley Funberg, amirite?!

Yeah, this was me on Tuesday, as well. It usually posts toward the end of my day, so I look forward to it gentling me on out the door. This week, I left bitter and feeling slightly violated.

No, Jesus fuck, go read some of the shit in... well, any Trump-related article about how HE’S GONNA WIN THIS, HE’S JUST SHORT OF JESUS HIMSELF, KILLARY IS TEH DEVIL, etc.

Smoked salmon vodka sounds preferable to the smoked salmon pot I had many years ago. The dude decided to dry the weed out in a food dehydrator that had previously been used for salmon. Possibly the only time I thought about just throwing the shit out.

Hmm. next time you should have feinberg fill in for you. That way we can still get our fix and she can continue not writing about sports.

We were shooting the Foodspin season finale and there just wasn’t time. It won’t become a regular habit.

I have a nice combo system of emails and SFW web, that way I can for sure say that something productive occurs. I also have trained my body to only poop during work hours, so that kills some time too

Is this the dumbest Kinja ever? I’m asking because I don’t know.

You checked emails? I sat and clicked F5 about 2000 times, so at least it sounded like I was doing something productive

I once picked up a bottle of Peanut butter & jelly vodka since it was in the discount bin and though, “eh, this can’t be that bad.” Wrong. It is terrible. I’ve had it for probably 4 years and shots are dished out as punishment for losing whatever game we play at neighborhood get-togethers. One day I’ll finally be rid…