It’s definitely possible to write about the person you love in a beautiful way, but it’s few and far between (and correlates highly with being a professional writer).

Her heart is killing the Great Barrier Reef

She has a rare terminal condition related to overconsumption of zinc and will die soon?

Australian poetry mate

She makes my heart go <a href=”pitterpat.mp3">Play sound</a>

Blah blah blah I’m happy for them but those quotes are god awful attempted poetry. Like real bad. Her heart is full of deep ocean minerals? What does that even mean??

And now if someone could just find a writing teacher. Yikes.

NEVER FORGET

I work on a purchase/billing service that is cross-platform and deals in billions of dollars of revenue each year. My particular area of expertise is UI/UX, which is usually considered too artsy and feminized for “real” programmers. As such, I’m the only person in an entire organization with my skillset and…

Please oh please oh please let someone bring this to Trump’s attention so he goes on a Twitter tantrum and sports increasingly patchy muttonchops for the duration of the campaign. I’ve never wanted anything more.

if only there was a way to get facial hair without the hassle.............. 

...is it wrong of me that I want Obama to take over as host of ‘The Apprentice’?

I am currently in conflict with a coworker and I honestly thing it’s bc I’m doing better than him. He was getting complaints and he started taking a back seat, I stepped up and did great, now he’s telling me I’m not a team player and all this other bullshit. It is infuriating.

It’s the compound eyes, the antennae and the whole tearing the partner’s head off after sex and eating it bit that doesn’t sit quite right with me.

And look good doing it.

Obama’s DGAF phase in gif form.

The best part? Trump won’t even respond. Oh, he’ll make some generic Tweet about Obama being “the worse president” etc. etc. but he doesn’t get personal with him or give him a stupid nickname because, I think, he’s generally scared of him for some reason. Like he expects Obama to show up outside one of his hotels and…

I like how Obama gets to be the better joker. Donald trump gets the fat, cheesy joker and Obama gets to be the Heath Ledger joker that gives me confusing feelings in my pants parts.