How about the keeper trying to get involved in the debate, and then getting punked anyways?

My parents did get me nice things because I earned them with grades.

You realize this is how rich people feel about paying taxes, right?

This is as dumb as anti-vax.

Not ATL, SLC, or DTW, which is why the latter two are preferable for flying to Asia via Tokyo.

"Teams of inner city kids should be allowed to cheat because..."

Can any of those 11 games with "show" be reasonably said to have impacted the playoff picture?

You do understand that the world isn't series of simple dichotomies, and that a player can be, at the same time, self-aggrandizing and attention-seeking while also being excellent on the field, a consummate teammate, a total asshole, a noble humanitarian, a loving family man, and pointed social critic? And that, just…

Look, it's a fact that vermouth spoils. When refrigerated, it loses potency in a month or two. When unrefrigerated, it spoils in a week or two. So yeah, in the same way that flat Coke is still Coke, you could serve refrigerated vermouth six months later. But you wouldn't serve a mostly-flat G&T, so I don't know why…

I bet your friends say things like, "I love this vermouth. I can barely even taste it."

Please don't offer this dull vermouth to your guests.

Vermouth is actually not a great recommendation unless you are hosting a party imminently or drink martinis/manhattans/etc regularly. It's a fortified wine, so it goes bad unless you have a decent wine preservation system. You've got to use that half-bottle every month or two. That's a lot for anyone in this audience…

If Football—that is, the American National Football League football—used the same naming scheme as "Dungeons & Dragons," we'd call it "Beer Commercials & Cheerleaders."

Can we talk about the moral bankruptcy of the NFLPA fighting to get Ray Rice back on the field sooner? For all the deserved criticism of the NFL's handling of domestic violence, the NFLPA is the organization that directly defends abusers.

George Atallah isn't nearly as good at satire as the Deadspin Editorial Board.

Whoosh

Just pass the ball, change the angle, and shoot. You're as likely to get a handball as anything.

Thanks for the hot take. There is literally no one who disagrees with you.

I watched this match just as I watch most Arsenal matches. Rosicky had as good of a game as he's had in recent memory (against a bad opponent), but it was clear that Kieran Gibbs was the engine. He was relentless on counterattacks, key to maintaining possession as the backs and Flamini corralled numerous clearances,…

Isn't the most plausible explanation that the balls were measured before warmups (indoors), were used during warmups (outside), left outside (outside), used for the first half (outside), and then measured at halftime (indoors). So instead of "sticking them in the freezer" they were just left outside for 3-4 hours?