"My opponent talks about how much he loves the Constitution, but what he really wants to do is roll it into a cone, pour milk into it, then dump out confetti from it when we're all expecting the milk. That's not the America I want to live in!"

Anyway, what else has been in the news? Oh yeah. The bus crash. Very sad.

Look I know you're young and Sanders seems like the answer to all our problems, but try to understand. Try to understand. TRY TRY TRY TO UNDERSTAND.

They going to claim this is the great jobs bill they've been working on for seven years?

Bozos, if you ask me.

Yeah. I agree. I was just joking about the 70's rapey feel of the original.

Yes, but with 30% more sexual assault.

It's not ready! I need more time to test it!

Bill Murray on the line. He'd love to be in their next film!

There were a lot of females in the original. I think we can count ourselves lucky if they go un-sexually assaulted in the remake.

And cocaine. Mustn't forget the cocaine. Seriously. Forget the cocaine and DeLuise will kick you through his trailer wall.

:: tries to comment, but doubles over laughing instead ::

It's not a Cannonball Run movie without end-of-movie outtakes of Reynolds and DeLuise laughing hysterically at themselves for five minutes because one of them flubbed a line.

I appreciate their stances on tits and five-pound bags of shit. I'm just worried that the dragons are going to cause more problems than they solve.

She sees the movies that younger actresses are routinely getting cast in and she's positively The Odd Life of Timothy Green with envy.

So she is responsible for the forced displacement and cultural genocide of the former inhabitants of the Bikini atoll? OK, that's pretty badass. I can get behind this movie now.

Well, what will I do with the other $748,999,999.32?

Does the little girl nuke Japan? No? Not interested.

Damn it! I had just scraped together $749 million! Now what am I going to do with all that money?

He knows which side of his field gets buttered.