never forget to remember :

Dwight’s greatest contribution as a Laker might have been this gif:

What the fuck is that dusty-ass pallbearer’s suit Peterson’s got on?

Four Loko hard seltzer was great in college but plays in the CFL now because of “off-field issues”

I was watching this game and if he wasn’t wearing a cup, he’s now a eunuch. I’m pretty sure a cup is required for catchers. You could hear the poor bastard moaning on the ground on the broadcast. THEY wouldn’t replay it, just saying “You can guess where that got him.”

In this case, it’s also a fouled tip.

Looking forward to the hot mic that captured Sisco’s Dong Song

I’m still stuck on that too. Emoji face is not liking the change of scenery, or Jack needs a shower.

You know, for all the (justified) crap football coaches get for their constant bitching about “weakening America” by showing concern over brain injuries, I’m pretty sure baseball would go into full take meltdown if something like this were implemented.

“the staffer reportedly changed his mind about pressing charges after receiving the first pick in his fantasy football draft.”

You can tell me how disappointed you are, but I really won’t care, son. Just make sure you pass this along to your son, and don't put me in a home when the time comes.

This is just like my dad and me, only instead of hitting home runs for large sums of money, I’m an emotionally distant borderline alcoholic who can’t communicate a lifetime full of disappointment with a disengaged, functionally absentee parent. So cool!

I never saw the survey and I spend more time on this site at work than I do working. Plus all the time on the shitter and whatnot when I'm off work.

Last season I found myself hanging out in an airport bar, and the guy next to me started chatting. A Steelers game was on, and he asked me if I knew who Big Ben was. I said “sure, you mean the bathroom rapist?”

His advice: Get a federal permit to kill one of the vultures, then hang it in a tree or other spot where other vultures can see it for miles around.

I once had a Steelers fan lecture me (a Giants fan) that I should “root for the Steelers in the playoffs if the Giants are out” because the owners fuck each other or something. He exclaimed “Rooney Mara!” Fuck him and fuck Pittsburgh. I went to go get a fucking sandwich at a “mall” there at 5pm and the place was…

“the Jersey guy said what I thought was the best trash talking line I have ever heard... “Listen, I beat the shit out guys like you on the way to a fight.””

Yeah, you hate to ever compliment anyone from Jersey, but that is pretty spectacular. 

To summarize why the Steelers suck: [every submission pointing directly at Jon’s submission blaming the two black guys]

That last submission was poetry by Drew. All the other submissions talk about the racist fans and how those idiots think the team is better without their two stars and then Drew wraps it up with that exact fan. Beautiful!