I’ve never been on MadTV either

Ron Burgundy is too much of a pro to let emotions get the best of him when doing the news.

Hey Kelley, how’s the dog?  HOW’S THE DOG, KELLEY?!?!

“The plane banked hard left, then it straightened out and accelerated, then it banked hard left, then it straightened out and accelerated. This went on for three hours, over and over again, and even though it was very boring, I never thought anything was wrong.”

Legs-istentialism

We’ve all been there.

Either way, the news that Cousins is injured, again, while preparing for his next career-resuscitation is an aggressively cruel development—and that’s even if you don’t want to speculate what a third serious leg injury means for his future.

Typo. He meant corpse.

Long taking advice to be Incognito in camp a little too literally.

*kneehilist

Lol. Only on Sundays, the rest of the week is eleven. Until last year, we couldn’t buy liquor at all on Sundays because Jesus. Also, because our politicians are fools, you can buy wine & liquor on Sunday at 10 am, but beer has to wait for noon. Sometimes I hate it here. Sigh.

Hey! I’m early enough today to post something about this team that will maybe get me out of the Greys!

Finally a team so boring that we don’t even get one of the nihilist, void-staring-back stories that have become the hallmark of 2019 WYTS. 

I would like to point out here in the time since Mariota has entered the league, Tannehill has a better QB rating, better TD to Int ratio, and only 9 fewer TD passes despite playing in 16 fewer games. Tannehill sucks. But, uh, so does the other guy.

At the first team meeting for the Pats in training camp after their first Super Bowl win...

Belichick: “Okay, you guys who were here last season had a great Summer with everyone patting your back and giving you blowjobs but that was last year. This is a new season and we’re... yes, Mike?”

Vrabel, lowering his hand:…

Honestly the best bar stool sports content I’ve ever seen. 

I thought the restraining order said you couldn't go there any more? 

I’m not sure that’s in the job description of godfather to Gary’s kids.

If you don't posterize Gary Jr., who will?