We were standing under a bridge in Texas when suddenly the ibogaine began to take hold. There is no horror quite like a quarter back on that rancid stuff. And I intended to ride that wave all the way to god damn Canada and back. First, I had to find my shoes. No light in this place! And suddenly the light there was…

both

It was autocorrect 

im not sure you would have been wrong, regardless

Antekonuompo is a sight to behold. At the beginning of the season, I knew he had made strides, but did we really expect antokentupo to be an mvp, or defeat the Celtics? I didn’t. And antpkanbinumpo is doing it without a reliable three point game. Shits crazy

This being the same reaction I have to waking up after a bender to discover 12-hour old pizza rolls in the microwave only makes it that much sweeter

*trump voice*

Gabe, he looks like he’s pushing on a fart

*trinity matrix voice*

yes

34 years, 6 months, and 4 days

i don’t have all day mike

however, he has us all beat in pogs

It was meant literally 

Gabe, god dammit im ready. Put a helmet and cup on me and I’ll roundhouse the butter long and true. How hard can it be? They put it in front of you, and you kick it to hell. It’s no different than your little trash can on a Monday. You’ve been preparing for this your entire professional career. And there is glory to…

That’s a keeper

I know it’s jeets and he’s a legend but nobody’s just going to gift it to him. Success isn’t wrapped up neatly in a basket. 

Lowry is a liability in the playoffs

you went sideways yeesh

i think it’s a false flag and it’s Roth, or maybe even Chris himself. Plot twist