It’s not more traumatic for your kid to get patted down? I’m totally more freaked out by pat downs than scanners.

Maybe? No you did get lucky. Airlines can not guarantee bulkhead seats.

When your baby screams, your fellow flyers want to see you trying to fix the problem.

I agree with most of these, but I prefer to wait to be one of the LAST ones on the flight. If I’m traveling with my husband, I might send him ahead to ensure our luggage is near us, but I want my kid to be able to move around until the last possible minute, and the less time we spend on the actual plane the better.

Can we all just agree kids under the age of eighteen belong in a cage in the cargo hold? Pick them up when you get to your destination.

This is an extremely important tip for going to the movies as well.

Oof...this reminds me of the worst flight we ever took with our kids. They behaved just fine. I was the exhausted idiot who kept forgetting I had a broken seat tray that tilted down.

Exactly. You can’t always stop a kid from crying. Little kids don’t know how to manage big emotions in tiny bodies, so they cry or whine or melt down. Even normally well behaved kids. And they have just as much right to be on that plane as anyone else.

No, I expect the parent to not dictate what I put into my ears. I already said that I can understand that they have to bring the toddler along and toddlers will cry. But, if the parent thinks that a toddler bawling continuously for an hour is my problem because I was stupid enough to not bring my noise-cancelling…

Sedate them and put them in a pet carrier... I’m surprised that didn’t make the list.

Do you expect the parent to hit the child with a brick? Because that’s pretty much the only way to shut up a screaming toddler.

Also, if you can afford it, get the kid a seat.

And anyway, anyone who flies without noise-cancelling headphones is an idiot.

When your baby screams, your fellow flyers want to see you trying to fix the problem. They want to know you’re aware of the noise; even if you can’t fix it, they appreciate the effort.

Tip #1: Leave your toddler at home.