Christ almighty. The only person more sanctimonious than a former journalist working in PR is a current journalist waiting to work in PR.

This sentence sounds like it was written by a man who wants us to be impressed because he knows a bunch of big words...

This is “Headless Man Found in Topless Bar” levels of genius. Have a star, won’t you?

You’re telling me it’s the Atlanta of Canada. I got you.

This is the sort of behavior I expect from a light dusting in Atlanta. Shame on you Canada. Shame.

The overlap on the Venn diagram of people who frequent Deadpin and people who remember that show is probably pretty slim

Georgia Alum. Can confirm that there is not much Georgia fans ever cared about SC. However, we did very much hate Spurrier, so it was a little more bitter during that time period. But GT, Auburn, UF, Tennessee are all much, much bigger rivalry games for UGA fans.

This *might* have worked as a 450-word sidebar: ‘Friends, teammates stunned by cop’s turn; some doubt his guilt’

Count the motherfucking clauses in that sentence. Forget the horrifying shit show that was the topic, any editor who let that damn clusterfuck out the door should be fired on the spot for that alone.

Schottenheimer’s cat: the unknown state of a football cat where not knowing if it was smuggled in or found at Arrowhead forces us to think about it as simultaneously both smuggled in AND found at Arrowhead.

A friend emailed me this about a week ago