Woo! It worked!

Related Note: Can I please be out of the gray on Screamer? I'll take relegation on Deadspin if it means promotion on Screamer. I'll bake you a pecan pie. I'll wear a Patrick Vieira #4 jersey for a month. I won't make any more Arsenal finishing in 4th place (which is very respectable) jokes. I'll punch Daniel Levy in…

And if Alexis was a rich man's Pedro just a few months ago, and a poor man's Suárez today, there's no telling what he and Arsenal can be by season's end.

Hey may want to switch his suit.

Again, no issues with it, if it isn't used as a (lazy, unoriginal) means to knock a city that takes plenty of knocks on it's own merits. This read like a freshman journalism student's first essay post-reading Fear and Loathing.

I know plenty of middle-aged Michiganders who have very fond memories of living in Detroit during the 80's. And your disclaimer of being a "proud Michigander" doesn't really lend you any credibility. Detroit's most vocal critics are often Michiganders; middle-aged white people whose parents fled the city when all of…

On a related note, you'd LOVE all of the suburban, upper-class white kids that leave the state and transform into Detroit natives. The Detroit Metro area is a thing for a reason. So that people that aren't from Detroit, but are from a relatively unknown suburb, can give non-Michiganders an idea of where they're from.…

If Pontiac being a component of the Detroit metropolitan area is used to shit on Detroit (a city which gets shit on enough as it is), then yes, I'm going to split hairs. If it was a harmless reference to the Detroit Metro area, of course I would've overlooked it. Instead, it was a lazy reference, in an otherwise lazy…

Pontiac is 30 miles away (40 minute drive) from Detroit. If it was a direct suburb, I'd get it. But it's not. It's actually 4-5 cities removed from Detroit. If Pontiac qualifies as Detroit, then U of M, MSU, and EMU are in Detroit. And you're a pedant if you say otherwise!

World Cup has never visited Detroit. Do you even geography, bro?

The top 5 teams are separated by a mere 4 points. The top 5 teams in the EPL are separated by 9. I'd say La Liga 14-15 has more than "some parity."

This is La Liga we expected to see. Real obliterating opponents every week and sitting on top of the table, Ronaldo breaking records seemingly every week. Brilliant.

I think the "video game offense" trope is a little played out, generally speaking. But not with this team. It's a perfect descriptor for this team.

This is how one uses a GIF. Perfect.

Yeah, but...I don't remember writing this...

Oof.

+1

"Ok, so let's also take a look at the context of the word 'Jaguars,' Schroeder continued. "Ostensibly, it's the largest feline native to the Americas-a supple, deft killing machine. Undeniably, it's one of nature's true gems. But let's also consider what else comes to mind: cars. Specifically, English-made cars. And…

"I think he's quite valuable, actually."

Good lord, that is dumb good.