Isn't it just the worst when your post becomes popular thanks to another commenter pointing out how fucking stupid said post is?

I say this as a big fan of your username.

[T]he grunt helps a bro max out

Did you finish reading the joke? You should finish reading the joke, it's funny.

Damn. I've just realized that I've been misreading your name for all these years.

+1

+1 box of Granola Milk and Honey

It seems as though Dougie Fist is as prescient about Deadspin pieces as George Will was about the statistical revolution in baseball.

I just don't think their offseason signings have made them a better side. Losing di Maria and signing James is a net loss for Real, and despite Kroos' phenomenal ability, his arrival doesn't address a crucial need. Meanwhile, Barca sign Suarez to complete a lethal attacking triumvirate, Rakitic to help dull the loss…

Your concern for Real is well-founded. Ronaldo certainly has a history of not playing well with other superstars. Man United floundered when he and Rooney were placed up top together. And we all know how poorly the Bale/Ronaldo/Benzema experiment turned out.

Ha!

I was worried this was going to be written by Bill Haisley

I'll give that joke a Bee +

You didn't happen to feel a rush of wind pass over your head, about 13-14 minutes ago, did you?

These aren't bettors whims, you fucktard.

Who are you, again?

I haven't seen an Ass crack like that since Aaron Hernandez started shooting everybody.

Awesome piece

Are you particularly unique? Do you love bucking trends? Is that why your name is Norm Stamper?

Hi, Norm. My name is also Norm.