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I'm not sure how I feel about padded shoulders.

I hear Amy Sedaris is getting married soon. Good news about Bee, right? No more invitations to half-naked model shows, however. That'll make Seth mad.

Strahan is now "The Monster Who Ate ABC."

Not to change the topic, but I have heard that Donald Trump can fry an egg on his forehead. Do we have film of this? Is it fission, fusion, or solar power? Solar power would explain a lot about his hairdo.

Many of them just need a quick makeover from Hoda and Kathie Lee. Then they will be the same as us!

I watch the local Fox news in the morning and are amazed at how all of the news girls have obviously put collagen injections in their lips. Is this a nationwide trend, or are they being forced to by management? I just think that if the news girls have to get collagen injections to keep their jobs, then the men should…

Go read a book or something.

The only thing he left them was boxed wine.

The way that show's wine consumption is going, they are going to have to start drinking wine right from the box.

Maybe he could borrow some white zin from Hota and Kathie Lee? Would that appear too derivative? Or he could join the king's club for his new reality show.

Everything is 50% off today!

My girlfriend Sue wants me to put my penis in a bottle like the others. I said, "No way, put a bottle up your butt instead." She said vehemently no to that. Sue thinks that if a bunch of celebrities put their penises in bottles it could be used to raise visibility of any number of health issues — erectile dysfunction,…

My mother used to wear one of those. With a matching umbrella.

"50 Shades of Black"

Let's just talk about Weezer instead.

And also more about kittens.

You sure know a lot of words!

She hasn't had sex for at least 10 years now. And I mean with another person there to help.

What's her drag name? I would suggest "Sharia Law."