Well, one employee recently took home an Emmy for playing a woman...

They would put sesame seeds on their Big Mick buns before they would do that.

“I’d like to take a moment to review the several ways you’re a douchebag.” 

My favorite role of his was at Gust Avrakotos in Charlie Wilson’s War. 

If Obama had ever said anything remotely like “Take the guns first, go through due process second,” there would be flaming barricades going up on every street corner in Texas and Georgia.

I have feelings about #2. As an atheist I have issues with declaring our countries motto as “In god we trust” and letting Graham lay in state in the rotunda.

Fuck Billy Graham.

Greatest 4 song album in the history of recorded music.

To be fair, for a Butler, refusing to make the bed is a pretty serious offense.

Some babies are just good, you can take them anywhere and they sleep when you put them down and they giggle all the time and when dad has to grab the Lombardi trophy you can hand them off to their boss without worrying if they’ll thrown a scream fit. Clearly this is one of those babies.

Counterpoint: Who the fuck thinks naming their kid “Case Keenum” is a good idea?

Well, if you take the case to a Jury trial I think he might get 10-15 years in football jail but he may get off with nothing. On the other hand, if you offer him a plea I bet he’d take 7-9.

I want “Go eat a nightshade and think about your failings” on a t-shirt.

The Clement TD you could make an argument for, but in what universe is the Ertz TD not good? He caught the ball and took THREE steps before diving and breaking the plane. NFW is that not a score.

I would say blowout. Because with the heartbreaker, it can just as easily be that the sports gods did not roll the dice your way and either team could have won. But a blowout kind of sours all the accomplishment up to that point. Like at least with a heartbreaker you can still enjoy everything prior that year and you…

This ASTOUNDS me. Like, how did you not fucking realize this would be a really terrible idea? I know in the scheme of things in the world, this doesn’t matter, but this level of stupidity just takes my breath away. I am not a monarchist by any means, it’s more: if you’re gonna be in their employ, you know the rules of…

“John 0:16" was the best sign I saw today at the parade. (Cavs in 4!)

Altered Beast

Where the hell is Golden Axe???