The perfect wrestler, you say? But can he do this?

Or, it’s the truth? It’s common knowledge that HBK, not to mention Kane, Taker, Big Show, Mysterio, Angle, and I’m sure I’m missing others, is coming back for the huge cash grab and nothing else. If WWE pulled-out of “the second card in a 10-year contract with the kingdom believed to be worth $20–$50 million per…

Nah, you are wrong. I’ve been trying to tell you dumb fucks that Obama’s half white for 10 years.

Is that really what y’all women are like over there or is this just an over-the-top, thirsty, performative imaginary scenario designed to ride the waves of the media’s current catnip-for-dunces topical obsession before Harambe or Equal Pay or Lil’ Peep comes back around?

Why would it be incumbant upon pro-lifers to do all that - it’s a fetus, not a baby, right?!?

Thank god for heroes like you!

This is witty and funny and you’re allowed to say this stuff cuz you’re totally not racist.

Always appreciated the Ramones’ touching elegy recounting the Zeppelin drummer choking on his own vomit after drinking 1 million Bitburgers.

Seems like a straight-up trade of Carr for Bortles or Mariotta (serviceable to compete for the starting job in the short-term, not cap crippling long-term) works for everyone. Who says no?

Someone get this hero a trophy, STAT!!!

I haven’t seen craven, money-grubbing hypocrisy like this since you guys anointed yourselves as caped crusaders for progressive causes and then ruined a bunch of gay dudes’ lives cuz they don’t agree with you on some things.

Ah yes, and those kids will wander the earth eternally proud of their dad, the man with the biggest honker in the world. This is truly the greatest gift in life a father can give his children.

Character issues notwithstanding, the man has a way with words:

Your first paragraph is a great synopsis of pretty much the whole of life.

“What’s a vasectomy got to do with not wanting to raise your kids?!?”

FAKE NEWS!  It’s a very classy, beautiful piece of toilet paper.  Many people are saying it’s the biggest piece of toilet paper. 

Ray’s wife is really the expert on black eyes in the Rice family. 

$3.99 for a case of Rockdale?  That’s one Cheap Trick.

I’d love to see him try to pull that off live.  Clearly, it’s some stu-stu-studio wizardry. 

I totally feel your bottom-line sentiment and ask my sports fan-self these same questions often. Having said that, I have a feeling the absurdity of this post is completely lost on you.