Forever too soon

Too soon.

TOO SOON.

So, enough gasoline for a trip to the Kroger and back in a Dodge Demon?

Not in here, mister! This is a Mercedes!

Pfft. Been done.

For LeBron loved sports so much that he gave his one and only tweet, so that everyone who believes in basketball will not perish but have eternal NBA playoffs.

I hate having those unexpected ejectulations when reaching first base.

And the on-deck circle for switch hitters is right behind the catcher.

Something along the lines of this?

That was my first reaction too, but apparently they’re all 28-33. Hollywood is so weird and has broken our brains.

Boring White People Think Their Boring Shit Is Deep: The Millionth Movie.

Breaking news: Woman who was jacked in the face by enormous, physically powerful athlete was “Not actually asking for it,” but was, in fact, being harassed even before punches were thrown.

S.T.A.B. - Smile To make it All Better

The name Brock Olivo sounds like one of those relationship mashups names (Bennifer, Brangelina) if Brocolli was fucking Tivo

Well, I applaud him for wanting to spend more time with the family, because you know...that’s more important.