die now. please.

Forehand of the Game

keep in mind, shaq spends a lot of his time at his home, in a houston suburb. time for an egg driveby.

Selig to Assistant: I'm sending a note to Alex Rodriguez.... how do you spell banned in Morse code?

Meanwhile... Jose Altuve (28) warms up for batting practice.

Throughout the five games he averaged 32 points, 15 rebounds, six blocks, and 3 women per game.

george approves

i have visions of removing those tire blocks, revving it up to about 8,000 RPM and then just launching it off that VW.

i really wish this would become a thing. i would like to see more people doing meep meep.

yeah and don't forget constant updates on Jeter and A-Rod because the entire world wants to know what's going on with the fucking Yanks 24/7.

how do we know it's a 2015 and not a throwback restomod pro tourer?

is hydrogen still a thing? are we still doing that? i haven't heard about hydro fuel cells in a really long time. the complete lack of any kind of infrastructure to make these vehicles work seems to be a large gap in my opinion.

ugh. just fry me now. i'll never get this taste out of my mouth.

ugh.. twitterfloor. new it was bound to happen sometime.

shit... why do i have to follow naomi. so much for anyone seeing me.

the whole enterprise will be financed by http://www.westernsky.com/ at the discounted rate of 8156.4% interest.

man i could buy 4 Houston Astros teams and still have enough left over for a Miami Marlins.

while only a sparse 1.3mm hits, I jump at any chance to post the Buick.

i can almost see the parade.

ASSHOLE: Kicks on chair relentlessly, giggling maniacally, while oblivious parent nearby is completely absorbed in iPhone.