there needs to be a version of the Godwin’s Law auto-lose-argument corollary for this. it’s so tired and played out that even the responses to it are tired and played out.

Well, not quite. Austin Collie is up in the CFL now with the BC Lions.

I’ll be really impressed if they go for the gold and complain about truck stop Santa.

I’m stuck associating Lincolns with stoners now because you cannot tell me he isn’t baked out of his gourd in those ads.

gosh that one just sailed over your head like a brandon weeden pass now didn’t it

...he scribbled feverishly on the internet.

I thought this was Chuck Pagano for a second and felt bad.

Pretty much any luxury car ad that quotes inspirational historical figures and uses words like “integrity” and “precision” and “perfection” a lot. Like the Mazda ads where they compare themselves to Jackie Robinson.

he was totally holding a blunt and they just edited it out, right?

I hate these commercials. I don’t even get what the woodchipper one is trying to express. Like, I don’t buy a car so I can be connected, I buy a phone for that, the fuck is the car supposed to do? Do I really want my car to be a phone with all the distraction it entails?

Someone at General Dynamics put it in a defense contract as a joke. Next thing they knew they were getting $2 billion to develop a land submarine.

you thought this would destroy him

Yeah, the Panthers’ identity is excellent defense and running the ball down your throat and out your ass, sometimes with their walking tank of a QB, so of course their colors are black and blue.

This whole thing, between the advertese press release and the Internet tantrums, is a convoluted spectacular stupid clusterfuck. I heart it.

Teacher: Well, I don’t know, she’s just waitressing in a restaurant.

so why didn’t they enforce the penalty? the clock would’ve stopped anyways to announce the penalty, check with Garrett to see if he would accept it (durr, yes), and move everyone forward five yards.

but is he elite

Said Kaep, “there’s enough of the #7torm for everyone, boys!”

What gets me is everyone, from the gibbering media fuckwits to the sherriff, says that what Fields did wasn’t justified. Okay, sheriff, then why are you trying to justify it?

Gandalf’s not doing so well these days, huh.