He’s only here to discredit the true conspiracies.

My gut tells me that I shouldn’t have had those last two drinks on a stomach that would’ve been empty but for the other drinks.

Gee, I can’t imagine how he would’ve lost money on this.

I’m gonna go with #SheDervesA5000DollarPurse. The rest I either don’t want or can take care of myself.

I was thinking he’d invent some sort of beef between them, but competition requires respect.

Scandal has gone so far off the rails plot-wise we can’t even see the rails, but I’m still going to stare at Olivia Pope’s clothes.

W was reluctant to associate himself with his brother, because it might’ve tarnished his brand.

Trump and Kasich are working out a shared custody arrangement as we speak.

His existence reassures me that sugar and crankiness are part of a healthy, sustainable lifestyle.

I think my lease only bans cats and dogs.

If hipsters have a good reason to use typewriters on airplanes now, the terrorists have won.

We’re told to open the windows if it gets too hot. That is all sorts of wrong.

I tend to sign up for these things and play around for a bit so that I’m using the right vocabulary, but very few of the people I know well are on them regularly. The network effect requires a network.

My parents did this until ~5 years ago, when Mom got a job that required her to have her own email and cell phone. She types with two fingers and has gotten quite fast at it. Dad refuses to text, but catches up by reading all her texts and emails with people they both know. He has a largely defunct email address.

Critically important off topic news: BEYONCE IS BACK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

Everything is “tech” right now. If I convince my boss to expense a new laptop I’ll start calling myself a tech entrepreneur.

I have half a small bag of birthday cake M&Ms, an Oreo-flavored yogurt, and a wine store coupon. Call me Emeril.

If it was behind there long enough, it was at least partially locally grown. Mmm, mushrooms.

It was at least marginally noteworthy when Hillary first became First Lady, but that’s...what, 24 years ago now? Turning it into a BFD today ignores the intervening progress we’ve all made. It’s a symbol, but it feels forced.

No, they have to match. I would refer to all of the above outfits as “slacks and a blazer,” with the exception of Sen. Gillibrand, who seems to be wearing a cardigan.