“You’re a prison” is such a good comeback.

In Soviet Russia, joke laughs at you!

Two men tried to lure her into their car, under false pretenses. If you can read that and come away thinking Kevin Smith is the sad excuse for a man, you must just really hate Kevin Smith, amirite?

And come on, he made Dogma. And God was played by Alanis!

Please. Woman here who is proud to work in the comic industry. Take you snobbery and go read a graphic novel because you’re severely misinformed about who should be reading comics, and at what age you should stop. Here’s a hint, it’s the same age you should give up on reading. Perhaps you’ve already done that and…

“What’s homo milk? Is this milk from GAY COWS?!” he demands, utterly* seriously, even angrily.

My husband made me a birthday card from the dog and I still found CS to be “unseemly”.

HGTV by way of Faulkner is the single best descriptor I've ever read.

j e s u s

I feel like Word should have a feature so that anytime you select CS as a font, that little paperclip dude pops up and ask ‘Are you fucking SURE?’

Just this summer, my uncle died. His cremated remains were brought from his state of residence to SC for interment. The graveside service, attended only by family, was held in the middle of the day during that godawful heat wave we had. It was 108 degrees. Three generations of my family stood around in our Sunday…

SHUT YOUR MOUTH. NO.

I went to a funeral for a teenager and the service sheet was written in Comic Sans.

I basically babbled. Something along the lines of, “I’m so glad he has such an open minded and loving family, but I’m not a sex worker and I really only know him from the amazing stories my new coworkers tell me. I’m so sorry for your loss, and I’m sure I would’ve loved him but maybe not that way but maybe that way…

Working at dealerships, this is a common thing. Techs generally just want to fix your car. Diagnosing your truck’s problem is something other than doing recalls and 30k services. It probably made his day to have something to think about for a change. Most people will flip out on the adviser even though the tech is…

Look, what you’re looking for is a lager or some form of golden ale; the kind of beer that’s relatively low alcohol and extremely drinkable.

Sure, Chris Brown is “strong and powerful,” and he used that strength and power to beat the living shit out of a much tinier woman. I get so fucking sick of people saying people are “good” and have “good hearts” when their actions so clearly scream otherwise. No racists and no homophobes don’t casually use racial and…

How about blocking a double parker while being able to fit in one spot yourself?

You put something in it hot, it stays hot. You put something in it cold, it stays cold. How does it know?

You put something in it hot, it stays hot. You put something in it cold, it stays cold. How does it know?

Authorities knew it had to be plagiarism when the beat writer submitted an article written in full sentences.