I try not to fart in front of the fiance if I can help it. But if I’m in bed, or if I’m mad at her, or if I’m really sure that it’s going to be a long extended loud fart that will be hilarious, or if we’re leaving an elevator when other people are rushing in, or if I think I can blame it on the dog, or if we’re in a…

I will be happy, as a woman, to empty a double barrel shotgun in your fat ass, you misogynist piece of shit.

If you refer to us as racists, we will not hesitate in considering legal action.

Well, the reason you’re not able to find any example of how to deal with these legal issues is because this is legally unprecedented. But here’s a stab at answering some questions:

People have tried moving against Floyd, but has anyone tried not moving?

2) May I have the phone number of your prescription pill dealer?

Well shit. This is all very familiar. I hope you live nearby. One thing tho, fear of falling at her age is very reasonable. And thank you for the sympathy. She died almost a year and a half ago but I’ve been missing her for much longer.

Jared has always had that “staring into the abyss” vibe about him. He seems to always be nanoseconds away from a stress-induced panic attack.

War-loving America joined last and does not get most of the credit. Go wave your dick around somewhere else.

Random fun fact: My college roommate grew up in the Falcon Crest mansion! She was so sweet and down to earth - the exact opposite of that show.

GSUSA has apparently edited some of its materials in response to complaints from the Archdiocese

“programs and materials reflective of many of the troubling trends in our secular culture”

Instead, he wears an earpiece on set so that the engineer can supply him with his lines.

There actually is something in that article that surprised me. I’m genuinely startled that Johnny Depp, who billed himself as a Capital-A Actor long after he started mostly doing big, dumb, family movies, doesn’t bother to memorize his lines anymore. Wasn’t that one of the signs that Marlon Brando had given up on…

I’m going to call the hotline tonight, and report on actual “human” aliens and their crimes. You see, I grew up near the border of Canada. Those damn Canucks sneak across the border and steal (well buy, but in funny lookin’ currency) all the milk in my county. I’m not sure what’s up with the price of milk in Canada...…

No, totally. The Chief Data Strategist for Friends of Jason Chaffetz didn’t know 2028 was an election year until you told him. This is an absolutely believable thing to say.

who quotes Nietzsche

If you scroll through fast enough this looks like a young, pre-accident Busey.

Soundwave! Prepare the energon cubes! My butthole hungers!