Is anyone besides me watching Underground? It’s on WGNA, a network I hadn’t really heard of before this series. It’s about the slaves, abolitionists, and the Underground Railroad, and mainly takes place on a large Georgian plantation. I like historical fiction and it stars Jurnee Smollett Bell and Chris Meloni, so I…

Fuck dating. Fuck dating sites. Fuck guys who just message “hey. how r u?” or “u r beautiful.” Use fucking proper grammar. Fuck guys who ghost you. Fuck everything.

I really love how Kara has trolled everyone into posting pics of athletes and other men in ridiculously tiny shorts. Good job, Kara!

Sock height longer than inseam or GTFO.

OK. So here’s an embarrassing yoga-hockey celeb story the DS peeps should appreciate. I live in Toronto and was taking yoga classes at a studio down the street from my house. Classes were very small, like 6 people not including the instructor. About halfway through the sessions, the instructor’s sister starts coming…

My oldest sister remains my personal hero: When my other sister was planning her wedding, she went to my dad and said, “How much is this thing costing you?” He named a figure. She said, “Cut me a check for that now and you won’t hear a peep out of me when I get married.” Bam. Check cut, sister went to a justice of the…

if ur pushin 40 u should talk to women my pal

I had this happen too, I was standing in the back yard about to start the lawn mower when I felt this huge cramp wrack my body, then I passed something huge. My husband was like, “Are you ok?” and I was like, “I think they left some placenta behind and it just came out”. He looked like he was going to faint or die…

I also circle Negro on my census, and I think there might be a movie here. Two black people, willing to travel back 50 years into Civil-Rights era USA, to meet/hook up with Paul Newman.

I WOULD LIVE THROUGH 1967 AS A BLACK WOMAN IF IT MEANT I HAD A SHOT WITH PAUL NEWMAN.

I have polycystic ovary syndrome, and during my first week at my first Post College Adult Job my uterus decided that a dramatic entrance was necessary. There I am, sitting in a meeting trying not to let the sheer amount of pain show on my face because of the cramping, when something starts to feel...off. I excused…

I had hookworms as a kid. Tiny, white, wiggly worms that live in your butthole. I saw one sticking out of my poop one day and told my mom, who thought I was just being paranoid and told me to ignore it. Flash forward a few weeks later and it feels like my ass is full of broken glass. I go to take a dump, thinking it…

A dream of mine: Dwayne Johnson x Idris Elba buddy movie.

THIS IS ONE OF MY BIGGEST FEARS AHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhh

THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST NECESSARY BLOGS TO HAVE EVER BEEN BLOGGED

Finally I get to share my story publicly in a setting where people WANT to hear it!!! In December 2014, I started having really massive stomach cramps. I thought perhaps I had eaten something bad, or was PMSing, but these cramps were constant. I couldn’t sleep, I stopped being able to eat. I couldn’t stand up…

Two weeks postpartum, taking a shower, trying to avoid even touching the fiery pus-oozers that were my nipples (thanks breastfeeding), when I feel something fall out of me, followed by a THUNK on the floor of the bathtub. I look down and see a baseball-sized blood clot. And because I was sleep deprived and hungry and…

Well this was gross and semi-impressive too. When I gave birth to my first I had to be induced. My labor wasn’t progressing like they wanted so the Dr came in to break my water. She told me that I might feel a little trickle and then there was an audible pop and my water sprayed out a good three feet from my body. The…

Given birth.

Barry, Barry, Barry, The horrors the female body is capable of know no bounds. This is going to be a shit show of epic proportions. I still have nightmares after reading the thing about the sunflower seeds on Jezebel. Us dudes just can't keep up with them. No Funbag poop stories have ever come close.